I’m from…

I’m from colored popcorn.

From Pledge and wooden floors.

 

I’m from sleepovers and movie nights.

From summers in the pool.

 

I’m from paper and pencils.

From Oregon trail and dial-up.

 

I’m from divorce and tense pick-ups.

From being the in-between.

 

I’m from support checks carried back and forth.

From “Your father…”

 

I’m from kids table and rules.

From “Do as I say, not as I do.”

 

I’m from messages and stresses

That I don’t want Troy to be from.

 

What will Troy be from?

That is up to me.

SOL #26 – Weekends Without Him

Weekends without him

Are horrible.

Empty.

Even when they are fun,

They’re sad

Because he isn’t with me.

 

It’s been two plus years,

And it doesn’t get better.

Empty.

 

But then comes Sunday,

When I get to pick him up

And hear about the past three days.

Full.

 

In a rush,

Stories mixed together,

Out of sequence,

About Friday’s escapades

With friends.

And everything else

Since I saw him last.

Full.

 

“It pains me.

The Crossover won the Caudill.

But that’s not what pains me…

The kids who read most

Of the books on the list

Won a Barnes and Noble gift card.

It pains me.”

Full

 

 

SOL #20 – Standing Strong, But I Don’t Want To…

“Please?!?  I promise I won’t ask for anything!”  my son begged as we drove past.

“No.  We aren’t going.”  I was adamant, on the outside anyway.

“Why not?   I won’t ask.”

“No, you’ll just look at me and I’ll end up buying you something,” I replied.

He shrugged.  It was true and he wouldn’t deny it.

I was resolute and we didn’t stop at the store.  But, it was extremely difficult because I wanted to go as much as he did.   Where you ask?  The bookstore!  #proudmommy  #raisingareader #heismyworld

SOL #19 – I am listening.

Several ideas for slices

Have crossed my mind today.

But each time I start to write one,

It is starting to come together,

And then Troy starts to talk to me

About our dog,

About his idea for a graphic novel,

And then it is no longer coming together…

But I will never turn down a chance

To listen to my son.

If I stop listening,

He might stop talking.

So today’s slice must wait,

Because life is happening

And I am listening.

 

SOL #12 – Baseball – Our Way!

11454297503_e27946e4ff_hI stood about five feet from Troy.  The fluffy Angry Bird stuffed animal made contact with the Styrofoam bat that Troy was swinging.  The bird came straight toward me, but above my head. Fear filled me.  Although it was fluffy, the bird could still hurt if it hit me at that speed.  As it whizzed past me, I spun to see where it was headed.

“No! Not again!” I shouted, knowing that I was going to loose by a large margin once again.  I was frustrated that at only ten, my son’s athletic ability had surpassed mine by so much –  his team always wins against my Boston Baguettes.

I reached up for it, but was way too short.  The bird soared into the light, hitting the light bulbs and passing through the air and into the kitchen.  Suddenly, the room became much darker. Two of the three light bulbs were broken.

It was a home run for Troy, but he only got halfway to first base when he realized that he had broken the light.

“Oh, fudge-muffins!”  he said.   He stopped and looked at me, afraid that he would be in trouble.

I just looked at him, then glanced at the light, and then back at him again.  Did that really just happen?  Yes, in fact it did.  And after several seconds that seemed like minutes, we burst out laughing.

“Did you see that?”  he said, realizing that I wasn’t mad, just shocked.

Since that day, the light bulbs have been replaced…several times.  It is the memories that last forever, light bulbs are just things.  And this memory has become one of Troy’s favorite stories to tell.

SOL #7 – Mama Mia!

On this last day of my four day weekend, I decided I should be productive and clean.  That was not going to happen with another episode of Blue Bloods playing, so I decided to put in Mamma Mia (the movie with Meryl Streep).     This was the movie Troy and I would put in on the weekends when it was time to clean.  We would sing, dance, and do a little bit of cleaning.

We haven’t listened to this and cleaned for a while now and Troy wasn’t home, but all of the memories started flooding back.  Those were some amazing moments.  I cherish these memories and look forward to making so may new ones.  I hope he will look back on them one day and smile.

My baby is growing up, but he will always be my little boy.  And so you can join me in my tears, here is the link and some lyrics to a song (by Abba) that has this mommy feeling really lucky that her boy is only eleven still.

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it

Slipping through my fingers all the time
Do I really see what’s in her mind
Each time I think I’m close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

SOL #6 – Socks

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“I don’t have any socks!”  My son complains.  “Why don’t you wash any of my socks!”

This is a daily struggle…finding socks.

Just to be clear, there is an entire tub of clean socks on top of the dryer.  They just aren’t the right ones.

For a kid who always wears brightly colored, crazy patterned socks and never matches them – you would think finding socks to wear would be simple.  You would be very wrong.  Because. like so many other things about eleven year-olds, you can’t make assumptions….socks are my enemy right now…what will it be next week?  There is no way to predict it…